Confession's of Georgia Nicolson continued
by BeautyIsPain93
Summary: I really enjoyed reading the Georgia Nicolson books so i decided to write this. Its basically my atempt at Georgia style writing, it was really fun to write so if you like it R&R then i will upload more. Don't be too mean!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: You know the drill. I own none of the characters they all belong to Louise Rennison, who is a vair fabby writer. Although, I do own some of the plot. But most of the Georgia words do not belong to me Louise Rennison gets all the credit for these. Anyway on with the show!! Enjoy!**

**10:38 By the river with Dave**

I am in a state of confusiosity. With knobs

Dave the laugh said he loved me. But I do not love him no siree Masimo is my one and only.

**4 minutes later**

Then why do I keep 'accidentally' snogging him. Jas would say it is because I am a tart but she does not know the call of the horn, as she is boring and only loves Tom.

**1 minute later**

And owls. As I have said many times before I am a teenager and cannot control my bits and bobs.

Anyway after we snogged I tried to say

"Listen Dave this is vair naughty I have Masimo and you have Emma, we should not be doing this"

But all I could manage was

"Nggghhhh." My jelliodness always seemed to rear its ugly head at the most inappropriate times.

He just laughed and said "I can't help that the ladeeeeezzzz find me too irresistible, you included sex kitty." Cheeky cat.

**30 seconds later walking back to the boy's tent**

Then we walked back to the boys' tent and I fell into a badger hole or something. Dave laughed for about a million years.

"Dave as you may or may have not noticed I have fallen into a hole and am in need or some assistance"

"Many apologises gorgeous, I shall be your loyal man slave and carry you back to the tent." But I could see he was till laughing because he had that naughty look in his eyes.

God it gave me the horn. No shutupshutup! Stupid horn.

**5 minutes later Back in the boy's tent**

Dave started telling everybody about how I fell into the badger hole. I swear I heard Jas mutter, 'Idiot' so I biffed her over the head with one of the pizza boxes and now she is ignoring me and has stormed out with Tom trailing after her. Merde.

**2 minutes later **

Sven and Rosie have disappeared off into the woods and every now and again you can hear Sven scream out stuff like;

"OHHHCCJJJJJAAA! YOU ARE A WILD AND CRAZY CHICKY"

It sent Dave and me into hysterics.

**30 minutes later**

Now Ellen Dec and Mabs and Edward have buggered off leaving me and Dave alone. Ellen said;

"We… erm… are… like... erm…just like… you know… like…going to"

"We're just going to get some air and see what Rosie and Sven are up to" Mabs interrupted, which I must say was a relief as if Ellen was left to say it we would have been there for the rest of the month.

As soon as everybody left Dave said;

"Soooo…kittykat we are very much alone, we should snog just to kill the tension."

Dave is such a minx!

**30 seconds later **

Somehow I have actually managed to find myself attached to Dave's mouth. Again. Yummy scrumboes. We got to number six with a hint of nip libbling. Lip nibbling, that's what I meant! Pwhoar Dave does give me jelloidness and redbottomisity.

**10 minutes later Back in my tent**

I think Jas is right, I may be a tart. I'm with Masimo, but try telling my lips that I only have to be within a mile of Dave to feel my lips puckering up. After the accidental kiss I ran off back to my tent saying I think I could hear Jas calling me, he looked at me like I was quite insane, which I am. Jas doesn't do things like this, she's normal (and I use that phrase loosely). Well, normal minus the obsession with owls and vegetables.

**1 minute later **

And her stupid fringe.

**1 minute later**

And her obsession with humungous knickers.

**1 minute later**

And the fact that she always has midget gems hidden on her person, actually that is quite useful. I wonder if she has any hidden in her tent.

**30 seconds later**

I knew she'd have some midget gems. And by some, I mean about six million packets (well two) hidden in her shoes (erlack), among a magazine called 'Tree Huggers United, the weekly subscription.' Wow, she is pathetico personified.

**2 minutes later back in my tent with Jas's midget gems**

Jas is going to go crazy when she sees her precious midget gems are gone. Hehehehehe. I've been a bad, bad, bad girl. The midget gems call to me, 'Eat me Georgia! Eat me…you know want me.'

**2 minutes later**

I am beyond the valley of boredom and oh so aloney on my owney. Minus Jas' midget gems...which are now empty.

**10 minutes later **

Jas is outside her tent with Tom, I know because I can hear them talking about nature and twigs. Wait doesn't twigs count as nature…shutup brain shutupshutup.

"Ohhh Tom did you see that newt it had such unusual markings. Ohhh Tommy Wommy did you see those droppings they were so"

That's were I switched off. What is wrong with Jas, the droppings were so what wonderfully fragrant? The droppings were so runny? She becomes a different when she with Tom. I could almost hear her playing with her stupid fringe. Blimey.

**1 minute later**

Their kissing, I can hear them kissing. Every now and again I can hear a sort of slurpy, sucky sort of sound. Erlack.

"Oh Tommy Wommy, come in and have some midget gems, I'll show you my addition of 'Tree Huggers United'"

Blimey O'Reilly's undercrackers.

**30 seconds later**

I can hear her rustling around in her tent.

She's going to realise her precious midget gems are gone, and kill me. I must hide the evidence, by stuffing the empty packets of midget gems down Rosie's sleeping bag and playing dead (pretending to sleep).

**20 seconds later **

"Tom my midget gems are gone, they've been kidnapped" Kidnapped? Kidnapped? Is she serious?

"It's Georgia. She's taken them. Oh bugger! Now I have to eat my emergency pack"

"There, there Jas, I know you've been saving them for a special occasion"

Oh dear Lord…

**11:30 Still in my tent and still awake**

Iwill never ever be able to sleep I am in too much agony thinking about what Dave said. When I tell Jas about this she will just laugh and say something like;

"Dave said he loves you! I knew he was insane hahahaha I needed a good laugh, thanks Georgia."

**2 minutes later**

Still not asleep I shall never get to sleep. If I don't get my beauty sleep I will end up looking as bad as Spotty Norman. Well not that bad.

What if my nose grows? What if it ends up getting so big it sags over my lip like vati's.

**Half a second later **

Zzzzzzz.

**17 minutes later**

Guess what? I'm awake again. I finally get to sleep, then Rosie and Jools come crashing back in and dive right on top of me. Literally. Blimey she weighs a ton.

**2 minutes later**

"What the hell is at the bottom of my sleeping bag, Georgia?" Poo and also triple merde, I'm never going to get to sleep. Zzzzzzz.

**13 minutes later**

Awake again! Jools and Rosie woke me up because she said she can hear rustling and she thinks it's a bear. So Rosie is clinging onto my arm like a fule and won't let go. She keeps saying tings like;

"My Sven, what if I never see him again? What if I get eaten by this rouge bear? I knew I shouldn't have brought cheesy snacks. Why didn't I share a tent with Jas, no offence Georgia but tings like this always seem to happen around you! Where's my beard, if I'm going I want to die in style, with my most treasured possession"

And Jools keeps saying stuff like

"I don't want to die; I haven't even got to number 10"

I can't handle this. I want to stab myself in the face with Rosie's Viking bison horns.

**30 seconds later**

I can hear rustling and not good rustling as in the wind. Well come to think of it, wind rustling is not really too great, especially if you are wearing a skirt. That can actually be quite an unpleasant site if you haven't shaved or are Lindsay because of her stick insect legs, which are I must say vair frightening.

**1 minute later **

I can hear the rustling sound again. Now I must say I am also vair worried!

**3 minutes later**

The bear is outside out tent. It's at the door, well flap.

Poo, these are my last moments on Earth. I'm too young to die!

**1 minute**

I am writing my will under torch light;

Dear Mutti and Vati,

I would first like to start this letter by saying you have been terrible parents to me and now you shall be eternally sorry. I begged you not to make me come on this camping trip! But you made me. Let my death be on your hands.

Mutti I have a few wise words for you get a nunga reduction because you and I both know they are out of hand. Secondly divorce Vati, you can do much better. Lastly take some bloody cooking lessons, give Libby the chance or not being malnourished, the chance I never had.

This is a will so I am meant to be saying who gets what etc. well I would like to give all of my clothes to Mutti because I know how much you enjoy wearing my clothes and stretching them out of shape. Everything else I own goes to charity because I know if Libby gets it she will end up doing some strange voodoo ritual and Vati will enjoy my girly products far too much, I've seen the way you look at my make-up Vati.

Finally I want a shrine built in my honour.

Yours sincerely,

The late and Great Georgia Nicolson.

P.S just because I am gone does not mean you can now kick Angus out.

Hehehe, I can almost see the steam coming out of Vati's ears when he reads this.

**1 minute later**

The bear is opening the flap of our tent! Wait do bears have thumbs?

**Did you like it if so read and review. I will only upload more if I get five reviews so you must review, mwhahaha my evil plan unfolds. Anyway please read and review and tell me how to improve it please don't be too evil. You'll make me cry. Not really I'll just hunt you down.**

**Love from BeautyIsPain.**

**xXx**


	2. Chapter 2

**This is the long awaited continuation of Georgia Nicolson Fan Fiction...it has taken me ages to update, but I am going to try and update at least every week from now on...so fingers crossed and I hope its as good as the first one if not better. So here we go.**

**30 Seconds Later  
**"Since when do bears open tents! They can just use their claws to tear open tents!"  
"Who the fresh hell is it, then"

**30 Seconds Later**  
It was Vati. Yes, Vati. After we worked out that bears do not use zip's to open tent but tear them open with their scary, sharp claws, Rosie stuck her head out of the tent saying "Who's there! You can't hide from us we have a taser and a whip! A I have a beard." Vati reared his ugly head saying "What the bloody hell is Georgia doing with a taser and a whip!" So, the long and short of it is I am going home (yay), because Grandvati broke his hip doing 'stuff' with Mavis (not so yay) and is now in hospital waiting for a new hip. All I had to say was;  
"Wow, when you pray and pray for something so much, you never actually expect it to happen but when it does, you just don't know what to say"  
"Don't be so bloody cheeky Georgia! Now pack your things and get in the car."

**1:05 In the Clown Car with Vati**  
"Vati, I can smell burning, I think your clown car is on fire."  
"Don't be so bloody rude!" He said going all red.

**10 Minutes Later**  
Vati had to stop the car because the bonnet flew open, and the car wouldn't move.  
"I told you the car was on fire Vati, but would you listen?"  
"Shut up Georgia! Go and sit in the car."  
"Yes, Vati why don't I sit in the flaming wreckage?"  
The amount of times I am told to shut up, makes me think I shouldn't have wasted my time learning to speak.

**30 Seconds Later**  
I could have been a mime. That's one less thing I'll never do. Thanks a lot Mutti and Vati.

**3:07 Broken down on the motorway  
**Eventually AAA and decided that it was not fit to be on the road (yay) and are going to take it away for a few days to do some stuff to it (oo-er). So in the mean time we are getting a courtesy car. 'Just keep the car! We can walk.' I begged the mechanics. I think walking might be very helpful for Vati especially.

**4:37am Still not home**  
I would like to call Masimo to tell him I'm home early, but explaining the details may make me look slightly…insane. "Well my grandvati broke his hip, doing unspeakable things with Mavis his crazy girlfriend who once knitted me a head sock, so my portly father broke into my tent in the middle of the wilderness and took my home in the courtesy car since the Batmobile blew up." He already thinks I'm clinically insane, due to the one-hundred and one things that have happened which are in no way my own fault.

**5:04 At home**  
We just got back home. Apparently tomorrow we are going to visit Grandvati in hospital (it gets worse) and the rest of the family will be there, i.e uncle Eddie and his pervert son, James. If Vati actually thinks I am going more fool him.

**10:30 In the Morning  
**Libby has decided she is a wrestler. I go away for one day and this is what happens. She launched into my room landed on my head and pulled out a chunk of my hair. Brilliant. Not

**2 Minutes later  
**I went downstairs to tell Vati that his daughter had pulled out a chunk of my hair but all he said was "Don't be so melodramatic Georgia"  
I think my reply was very dignified considering, "Vati, just because your hair line is significantly receding does not give you the right to threat people who have hair in this manner!" So he threw a slipper at me. How loving my dear Vati is.

**11:00 At the Hospital  
**When we arrived Grandvati was playing twister with Mavis. "Erm...Doesn't Grandvati have a broken hip or something " I asked. "Why don't we join in Georgia" My perverted cousin James asked" I'd love to but I have an in growing toe nail and my over active sweat glands make any physical activity impossible." I said. "Bad boy." Said Libby biffing me over the head.

**5 Minutes Later**  
Somehow I actually ended up playing twister. James kept brushing up against me, or putting himself in awkward positions so he could look down my top. Blimey O'riley. My nungas just keep getting me into trouble. Then he actually jumped on me, the he said 'Oh sorry Gee, I guess I fell'.

**30 Minutes Later**  
Cousin James has not left me alone all day. I had to use the piddly diddly department and James decided he would tag along. As soon as we were out of the hospital room James turned to me and said 'So Gee how about a games of tickly bears? For old time sake.' Blimey O'riley undercrackers, have I stepped into a parallel universe.

**30 Seconds Later  
**Oh wait, it's not a parallel universe my life is just this crap.

**20 Minutes Later**  
My whole family have started singing Chas and Dave songs, and very badly might I add. Dear lord, shoot me now. Or just my entire family.

**10 seconds later**  
If God did decide to shoot my family where would I live? Well how about shoot my entire family but my Mutti.

**2 seconds later  
**Then again she would continue to embarrass me with her humongous basoomas. Maybe shoot my entire family but my Vati.

**2 seconds later**  
Hmm.....He does tend to shout and moan though, and continually embarrass me with his portliness, and moan about the middle ages.

**2 seconds later...again**  
I've just remembered about the little badger on his chin. I'm defiantly keeping Mutti and getting rid of Vati, it's the only sensible option. I'm sure in time I could teach her to wear a proper bra and be more like Jas's Mutti. She may even learn to cook and clean for me the way a real mother should. She may even re-marry a very attractive lawyer with a sensible nose. That would most certainly be a dream world.

**2 minutes later****  
**I've just caught a glimpse of my nose and have realised that my dream world will never be a reality, if this world were fair I would most certainly not have a small child on my face, where my real nose should be. Plus the sight of my nose would scare away any attractive men that might be interested in Mutti. Is my suffering ever to end?

**8:30pm Home from the hospital**  
Back home, and oh so bored. There is nothing to do here, why can't I live somewhere exciting like London, with all the beautiful people.

**30 Seconds Later**  
I've just remembered why, because I am too ugly. I'm sure there is some sort of beauty level that you must pass to live in London. Poo. Once again my huge conk has ruined things for me. Thanks a lot Vati. And Mutti as well since she was too selfish to pass on the good genes, only the crap huge nunga genes.

**10 Minutes Later at the Park**  
I decided to make a break for freedom e.g. go down to the park. The Blunder Boys are larding about, or what they call 'having a kick about'. Such delinquents. Once again I am shocked that I allowed such an over grown ape to rest his hand on my basooma. It was really nice of Dave to give him a fat lip for me. It's the sort of thing a boyfriend type person would do. Not that he is my boyfriend, that Masimo. My boyfriend that I haven't spoken to in ages, but I guess that's okay since he is gorgey. Yummy Scrumboes.

**2 minutes Later Still in the park  
**Mark and his rough mates have spotted me and are once again being verbally abusive. Mark started it off with "Who's your mates?" Meaning my nungas. Very hilarious indeed. The same could be said about his enormous gob, but as I am oh so mature I ignored their many childish comments. Well actually I took their football and ran with it.

**30 seconds later**  
PANT, PANT. The blunder boys are actually chasing me. Oh merde…my knickers seem to be embedding themselves in my bum-oley, this is why I tend to avoid exercise. I can just hear Jas saying 'Don't you wish you had my sensible knickers now Georgia?" PANT PANT. O'blimey O'riley's undercrackers…How am I going to make it up the hill. I already can barely breathe.

**10 minutes later**  
I have made it back to the house, but the blunder boys seem to have formed some Georgia lynching party outside of my house, I'm sure Lyndsay will join in with the festivities soon. And own Vati and all the neighbours, then Slim as well for good measure.

**1 minute later**  
Big Gob and his mates are now smoking fags in between throwing stones at my window. Why hasn't Vati gone all red and told the young ruffians to skedaddle off home.

**20 Minutes Later**  
They're still there and they've called in reinforcements, about twenty smoking fox wood lads have gathered outside my house, this is getting ridiculous. I've just gone downstairs why the Olds have done nothing about the mob outside their house. I should have guessed Angus is holding my parents hostage in the kitchen. He's standing in front of the door and every time they make a move to escape he starts spiting and hissing. He is a bad puddy cat. I should have guess when I heard Mutti shouting "I want that things put down, it is unstable" but I only assumed she was talking about Vati. I may let them out in an hour or two.

**9:05pm**  
I've decided to walk right up to Mark and give him his stupid ball (oo-er), but of course with dignity and je ne sais quoi. I may have custard cream of two, just to calm myself down.

**9:45pm**  
I finally walked right up to the blunder boys (without delay might I add), I got up to "Oi, Mark, take your stuipid ball ba-" when Angus came darting out of the kitchen and went straight for Mark's trousers. I couldn't believe it. I literally stood there with my mouth hanging open.

**10:00pm**  
The Blunder Boys have started to scatter in all five directions of the wind, wait I mean four. Then I saw the full damage, the entire front law was covered in cigarette ends, huge patches of grass had disappeared, piles of empty beer bottles. Then I saw it, that's when it hit me, they had spray painted a man's trouser snake on my front door. MERDE with knobs. Sacre Blue. I am going to be grounded forever. I will literally never see the light of day.

**5 minutes later Hiding in my room**  
I have decided to dash from the crime scene and hide in my room. I've barricaded myself in by pushing my wardrobe right against the door.

**2 Minutes Later**  
"BOB! LOOK AT OUR BLOODY FRONT LAWN. CIGARETTES EVERYWHERE. The door…look at the door. What is that? Is that…no, no. It can't be."  
"Connie? Wake up…GEORGIA! GET DOWN HERE, YOUR BLOODY MOTHER HAS PASSED OUT!"  
Merde, double merde, triple merde.

**Yep, so that's it. I don't thinks its as good as the first one. Also I'd like to know if people think I should update since this is like a book behind the most current one. So let me know what you think. Hope you all enjoy it. Oh, also cheers to everyone that kept sending me messages asking me to update, this is for you guys its nice to know people actually read it.**

**Love from BeautyIsPain.**

**xXx**


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